meow.

When one door closes another opens.

2010-05-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

FINALLY! Lost is over! yay! I am so happy about that. And, as they say - when one door closes another opens. Just as Lost ends, the Bachelorette begins! Fate? Coincidence? Luck? Whatever it is, it is perfect!

If spiders could talk

2009-11-06T10:02:00.001-08:00

It was a warm summer day. I was basking in the sun, relaxing, enjoying my web. I thought to myself "this orange tree is the perfect home for me, I rather enjoy building webs and trapping prey here". With green leaves and large oranges, the fruit tree was divine, and what a beautiful persimmon tree I had to look at across the yard. I was disturbed in mid-thought by a human - he was coming at the orange tree with a weapon of destruction and that is when my world as I knew it collapsed. He chopped down branch after branch until my home was destroyed. I fell onto the ground and started running, knowing I had to get away as fast as I could. All I could think was...Oh Human...why today? Then, suddenly, I could run no further. The human had shielded me in some sort of glass object. He was looking at me, studying me. Then I was floating - above ground - in this object. The human carried me far, far away and dropped me, head first, in a totally new environment. I was free, but really - was I? I was lost, alone, no home to speak of, no orange tree. Realizing there was not even a persimmon tree in view - I sat and I cried. Where was my home? Where shall I live now? What did I do to deserve this? I crawled around with only sadness as my guide. It must have been hours that I crawled, looking for my home - it was nowhere to be found. I was deep in despair when I discovered the apple tree. I just happened upon it, not really paying attention - my heart was so heavy I was barely paying attention to where I was going. I was halfway up the tree when I realized what a delightful little tree this was. The bark was beautiful, brown with a nice pungent smell. I crawled onto a branch and for the first time in what felt like years I smiled. This is my new home. I began spinning my orb webs and became entranced in the job. Ahh...how relaxing it is to spin a web. By the time I was finished, night had fallen and I settled in for a good night sleep. The next morning I awoke to several prey entangled in my web. I spun them in silk, looking forward to a good breakfast after the heartwrenching day I had endured.

New Cougar on the Block

2009-10-22T20:38:00.001-07:00

Today, as Ramsay and I were leaving the house, we look across the street and see 2 kids, about 18-20 yrs old, rummaging around the neighbor's yard. The neighbor in question is hot - in his mid-to-late 50's and has this cool old sports car in the driveway that he keeps covered most days and spends the weekend restoring. If I cared about the car I would know the make/model but I mainly spend those free-stare 5 seconds I get looking at him rather than the car whenever I see him bending over fixing the muffler or what have you. But I digress. So...these kids were wearing run of the mill jock jogging gear - loose shorts and t-shirts and were looking under the cover of the much loved sports car. One seemed to be doing the sketchy looking around under the car, over the fence, etc., part while the other was looking around the street like he was guilty of something. So I make sure they see me seeing them and progress to put Ramsay in the carseat. By the time I am backing out of the driveway - they are in another neighbors yard looking over the fence. Because I am from Oakland and also just not a very trusting person in the first place, I automatically assume they are doing something wrong/stupid. So I back out of the driveway and drive up to them and roll the window down and say "What are you guys doing?!" and one of the kids come up to the window and says "Looking for his cat!, She's missing!" And I remember my neighbor (not hot sports car guy but the other neighbor) just got a couple black and white cats and said they always escaped and were missing. This is not the first time I have seen them looking for the cats. I also remembered at that moment that they have a son who goes to UC Davis, so it was all clear. This must be The Son and The Son's Friend. So I then said to the kid, "Oh, OK! Well, you know you look pretty sketchy walking around like that!" And then he pulls up his t-shirt in a peek-a-b00 fashion, giving me the fruit of the loom tighty whity TMI, and says "Oh, THANKS!" with a big smile on his face. I drive away thinking, wow that is weird that he responded that way when I said he looked sketchy. How odd. That is really weird. What the DOH! And it hits me. He didn't think I said "WOW! You look Sketchy", he thought I said "WOW! You look SEXY"!
So now I am the new cougar on the block. Hello. I guess I can say goodbye to any friendship I may have formed with my neighbors! arg. oy.

i heart art

2009-09-29T20:37:00.000-07:00

I just purchased the most awesome piece of art ever. Have you ever had that feeling where you just LOVE to look at something? It makes you happy! It makes you soo blissed out? That is how I feel when I look at this piece of art. I love it. I love looking at it. I love that it is in my dining room. I especially love that my friend Lyn is the artist who made it. How cool is that? She rocks! You have to come look at it. It is so awesome.
meow!

Skirts. Skorts. And everywhere in between.

2009-09-07T20:48:00.000-07:00

I love skirts. Dresses, in particular, are my favorite. Have you noticed when you wear a skirt you have to sit differently than if you have on jeans or shorts. You have to be aware of what your legs are doing at all times. I think this comes naturally to people who are inclined to wear skirts and dresses. Oh hey! Remember the skort? At least a viewer was aware that it was just a peekaboo short when they viewed the back. It was like garment mullet, instead of party in the back, business in the front, it was shorts in the back, skirt in the front. But I digress.
I was very unlucky this last weekend to be in the company of woman wearing what I thought was a short skirt. It was very shocking when she sat down on the floor, cross-legged - I thought What??!! and my eyes thought Where Do I Look!!! Not unlike the moment when someone is in front of you with lots of cleavage. Oh wait, did I mention this woman is in her 50's? Yes. So then her daughter says "MOM! Does that skirt have shorts sewn into them? Why are you sitting like that?!" And I say "You must remember, only YOU know there are shorts under that skirt!".
Ouch.

peace and quiet

2009-09-02T20:52:00.000-07:00

This just happened:

Me: Do you hear that car alarm? It's loud!

Scott: *weird look*

Me: Listen!

Scott: It's Crickets...

Me: Doh!!

***Later that night***

I wake up and hear a noise, like maybe my cell phone needs to be charged? Or no, wait! It must be an alarm going off in the living room. What is it?
DOH! It's crickets....again!

Hours later, probably around 3am.
Phig and I wake up to a scratch at the bedroom french doors (we have no curtains yet). I look outside and see a small cat running around out back. I say to Scott in a sleepy grumble "Get that baby cat! It's all alone out there!" Scott wakes up, confused, looks outside and says "That's a skunk!" And we both clamber around to grab Phig before he freaks out the baby skunk.

Ludovico Einaudi

2009-08-21T14:13:00.000-07:00

Loving this.

Technology Sticks

2009-04-23T21:22:00.000-07:00

The RSA Conference is where I went this week - it was in SF at the Moscone Center. Lots of geeks. White. Male. Geeks. And it is amazing (and sad) to me that the IT community is still made up almost completely of mysogynists. I was walking around with my robot-friend and everyone at the Expo portion of the event was talking to him, asking him what he did, blah blah. I was completely invisible. Which, to me, was like heaven because come on - who likes to talk to those who-haws anyways? First of all they don't even know what they are talking about half the time and second of all they are just dumb ass salesmen. Robot-friend even made a comment once about how he wished he had a vagina so no one would talk to him. But after a couple days of this I was getting pretty disgusted at how gross it was. Add to that the booth bimbos and there you have it. Women are for oogling and wearing short skirts and dresses with their boobs hanging out so men will come to their booths and ask for a free thumb drive. Or Mug. Or Tshirt. That's about it.
But none of this is a surprise to me. It was just something that I haven't witnessed for a long time. Blackhat in Vegas isn't even almost as bad as this.
Hello Glass Ceiling.

The south beach diet = one way ticket to hell

2009-04-04T18:18:00.001-07:00

I started the south beach diet 6 days ago. It sucks ass. Really, it does. Everything that I am allowed to eat sounds absolutely disgusting to me right now, I can't even imagine how I am going to feel on day 12. My only hope is that by day 12 I will so strung out on my sugar withdrawal that I will be only semi-conscious, with no understanding of reality.
But I finally just got it - this is the way you lose weight on the sb diet: for the first 5 days salad is your best friend. YUM! Salad with salmon on top. Tasty! Salad with grilled chicken on top. Even better...Bean salad with a side of regular salad. Feeling crazy? How about broccoli slaw and bean salad with some sliced tofu? Hungry for dessert? No problem, have this very small plastic container of sugar free jello. Wait, you feel like chocolate? How about a sugar free fudgsicle the size of a toothpick? Sounds great, right? Totally doable! But then after you have had every single salad imaginable and then some, it gets really boring. So boring it is maddening. But not mad in the "Damn it, I'm just going to cheat and have a chocolate chip cookie!!" kind of way, more mad in the "SB You suck ass! I am going to beat you! Take this SB!" And then you just don't eat anything. Why bother? Food? A waste of time. I am too busy complaining and starving to death on this stupid diet to find time to eat something!
I did it 5 years or so and for some reason had no problem doing it, or at least that is what my memory tells me. But then again I know people who had a baby 5 years ago and don't think the entire pregnancy and birthing thing was excruciatingly painful.

I L'ove' it!

2009-03-17T10:55:00.000-07:00

The 'Ove' Glove rocks. It is one of my most favoritest things. If you don't have one already, you definitely need one.

OMFG "real" life rocks!

2009-03-04T08:53:00.000-08:00

Did you see The Bachelor Finale? And The Bachelor: After the Final Rose? It was so totally awesome TV. I only wish everything I watched on TV was as entertaining as that. The best part was that I dvr'd the shows, so did not watch them one after the other. They both originally aired on Monday night. I watched the finale last night and went to bed thinking he was happy with Melissa but then this morning I watched the after show and WOW! What an asshole! It was so wonderful. LOVED IT. There is also an After the Final Rose Part 2 that I have yet to see. Can't wait!

TCBY

2009-02-11T13:15:00.000-08:00

Did I ever tell you that I always thought that the frozen yogurt store with the name TCBY meant "Taking Care of Business Yogurt"?!? Well, apparently that is not what it means. Who would have thought! But really, do people even eat frozen yogurt anymore? The whole concept of a frozen yogurt store seems very late 80's/early 90's to me. Like VCRs and/or acid washed jeans.

Meow!

2009-02-04T10:43:00.000-08:00

Read this. I couldn't have said it better myself.
Thank you Jill!!!

obamarama.

2009-01-20T16:06:00.001-08:00

The internet is magic.

2009-01-14T17:20:00.000-08:00

So she asks me to send the credit card number to her in an email. I respond by asking for her telephone number so I can call to give her the credit card information. When she answers the phone she says to me "Oh...You're one of THOSE..." and I say "huh?" and she says "One of those who won't send the credit card number in an email" and I say "it's insecure..." she cuts me off to say "Well, you order stuff online...RIGHT??" and I respond "ordering something from amazon.com is not the same thing as sending a credit card number in an email" and her response was a dismissing laugh, like I am paranoid. Or stupid.

Growth Tracker

2009-01-01T13:42:00.001-08:00

I have started a set on Flickr to monitor the growth of Ramsay. I would like to say I will update the page daily but I know myself, and I am a perpetual underachiever as well as a total procrastinator, so hopefully I will add new pictures a few time a week. All pictures will be of him in the car seat so his growth is more accurately reflected. Here is the link.
In other news, the Lambatron has created a Pee Poo Tracker device. yay!

electric vs electronic

2008-12-08T10:59:00.000-08:00

I'd love to hear you explain to me the difference. Please.

You must read this. Must.

2008-09-04T11:58:00.000-07:00

I LOVE this blog entry over at Greek Tragedy!!!!

Pudding Puh-Disappointment

2008-08-07T13:52:00.000-07:00

I was craving chocolate and after a thorough search of all kitchen cabinets I found one packet of jello instant pudding. So guess what I did? I made jello instant pudding, with soy milk (we are not milk drinkers). But I am way sad because after an hour it is not getting all thick/pudding-like for some reason...I guess it needs some special enzyme that only milk has to do the magic that is pudding thickening? So now we have 4 (err...umm... 3...) servings of really thick chocolate stuffs...
Note to self [that i've written to self way too many times]: do not assume soy milk=cow milk in recipes.

Bill O'Reilly on Youtube

2008-05-14T16:05:00.000-07:00

I just received these links from my husband, Check out Bill O'Reilly on the set of Inside Edition. You will not be disappointed:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=klgo7qNc638

And the oh so necessary dance remix:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=5j2YDq6FkVE

utilize

2008-04-29T13:35:00.000-07:00

I just reviewed 2 documents written by my boss. He likes to use the word utilize. I hate that word. It sucks. It's up there at the top of my 10 Most Hated Words list (right in between moist and compote). Why do people feel like they have to use it so much? It only makes them sound pretentious and stupid. I counted the number of occurrences of the word in each document (both docs were 8 pgs) and the average count was 13. Oy. My brain hurts.

freshwater snail enthusiast

2008-04-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

I once had a frog. His name was Stefan. Stefan only lived for a couple of weeks or months or something. He was a light green freshwater frog that I had found during one of my jaunts to Walgreens. He came in a small, plastic hexagonal aquarium. And with Stefan, came a very small brown snail. I loved that snail. She was very, very teeny tiny, lived for over a year, and pretty much everyone who peered into the aquarium did not see her. She could be inching her way along the plastic, right in front of their noses and they would still think the aquarium was empty. She was there, but no one saw her. I'm sure most people would have thrown her out without a question or a thought when Stefan died. They wouldn't even have noticed her. But I became attached to that snail. More so to her, than I ever was to that frog. I loved her. Funny thing though, I don't even remember her name. I find it odd and a bit disconcerting that I remember Stefan's name but I can't remember the snails. It makes me a bit sad. I remember when she died. I found her on a plant leaf in the aquarium and she was on her side in a position that is very unnatural for a snail. I took her out of the aquarium and put her in a ziploc bag. With a sharpie I wrote her name on the baggie. I had plans to think of the perfect resting place for her. She was going to have the best ceremony and afterlife possible. Should I take her to the ocean? Big Sur? Santa Cruz? A secluded beach? Then I lost the baggie and never saw her again. Poor snail.
I'm thinking of getting another snail. But after that little memory maybe I should rethink it. But that was over 8 years ago and maybe things are different now?

Introducing the infant, My Little Pony Skywishes.

2007-11-03T10:01:00.000-07:00

OMG you have to go here and watch the video demonstration. Is this sick or what? I love it.

UPDATE: Umm...you also might have a nice cringe at the demonstration for Mattel's Little Mommy Real Loving Baby. And it also has offered a Little Mommy Car seat, for all those 3 year old Little Mommies with licenses who can't wait to take their Real Loving Baby out for a spin.

And Lastly, I could not leave out the Puppy Grows and Knows Your Name Poodle. Not only does it speak English, know your name and come with a chart so you can track it's growth, but once it is fully grown you can pat it's head a few times to make it a puppy again - and the fun starts all over! Wow, those Fisher Price people are really working hard this year!

Censorship. Alive and Well in the good ole U.S. of A.

2007-10-25T14:40:00.000-07:00

Comcast, At&t and Verizon are all guilty of censorship. Comcast is angry that people are using BitTorrent so has decided to play with the packets. Just say yes to peer to peer file sharing. AT&T doesn't like pearl jam singing anti-bush comments so they decided to censor that part of the song. I mean, hello...i hate pearl jam as much as the next guy, but if you are going to stream the concert for all the 12 fans they have left in the world, at least let them hear the entire thing! And Verizon got in hot water over text messaging pro-choicers. Oy.

I heart the eff. Soon I may not be able to say that out loud.

I am in Love with Illeana

2007-10-13T20:35:00.000-07:00

I am completely and utterly in love with Illeana. Lookee!
Are they not the most beautiful things your eyes have ever seen? I want to pet them. And then take them out for dinner and a drink. Maybe a movie? Then back to my house for a little extra fun time. I must have them in red!
If I ever am lucky enough to wear these shoes on my cute little size 6.5 feet, I will be the happiest human on earth. forever. The end.

tv overload.

2007-09-25T15:01:00.000-07:00

I have been home sick with an ear infection & a sinus infection for almost an entire week. It is painful and boring. painfully boring. I feel too dizzy to read so all I have left is watching tv and sleeping. We have just moved and now have the extra super cable package which includes something called On Demand- a feature that magically allows you to watch movies and premium channel tv series. I started watching the Showtime Series Dexter on Friday and have now just finished watching the entire first season of it. All 12 one hour episodes. It's actually very, very good. If you have cable I strongly recommend watching it. The 2nd season starts on 9/30/07.

Freegan

2007-08-24T17:57:00.001-07:00

P.S. I am totally enjoying this blog about a newsweek reporter trying to be a freegan for 30 days. Check it out.

Slang for you.

2007-08-24T17:32:00.001-07:00

here are some new words that r0x0r!!

baby bear: adj. - when something is "just right." Not too hot or too cold, not too big or too small, etc.
example:
"Are you hungry?"
"Naw man... I'm baby bear."

askhole: Someone who asks many stupid, pointless, obnoxious questions.
God! Jimmy is such an askhole. He won't stop asking me about my favorite teletubby and i'm about to smash him in the grill, kid.

work hot: A person that may or may not be hot, but is the most attractive person in the set of people you work with so you lust after him/her.
Person 1: So this new girl at your work is she hot?
Person 2: Hell yeah...well I mean she's work hot.

pregret:
The feeling of regretting something you're about to do anyway.
Every Friday night, I pregret that I will go to the club. I know I will stand there like an idiot and won't talk enough game to bring anyone home with me.

iPerbole: The hype surrounding any product Apple unveils.
Claims that the iPhone will change the world are all part of the iPerbole surrounding the cultish company

Best joke EVER!!!

2007-08-23T13:01:00.000-07:00

q. What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
a. A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a comma has pause at the end of its clause.

Remix!!

2007-08-16T13:38:00.000-07:00

I am LOVING this remix of the 80's Level 42 Something about you song. OMG You must listen to it! It is terrible fun(ny)! (I apologize in advance for the link I am sending you to - I could not find the full length version of the song anywhere else. Beware the Booty!) You have been warned.

I am a Certified Information Systems Security Professional.

2007-08-13T14:35:00.001-07:00

Yay! I passed the test and now I am a CISSP.
I am not a proponent of certifications. But, it was forced upon me by my job, and I am just glad that I passed it and now will never have to think about it again!
oy.

You have no right to privacy.

2007-08-08T15:54:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you are already quite familiar with how our privacy rights are slowly but surely being taken away from us...right?
Say hello to the new Protect America bill.
It just barely passed and I am so disappointed and saddened that Dianne Feinstein was one of the few democrats to vote yes for this. If this makes you upset, please join me, and email her and let her know how you are feeling.

everything is better in pink.

2007-07-27T12:42:00.000-07:00

omg! Is this HK laptop cute or what? It was only available in Japan for like three seconds several years ago. But I feel like I have been waiting for what seems like an eternity for apple to come out with a pink laptop. One with a shade that matches exactly the pink mini ipod. Is that too much to ask for, really? I would even be willing to pay more for it just because of the color.
Then, today I was googling, trying to avoid studying for the CISSP exam, and look what I found!
The Dell Inspiron 1420 is offering a pink laptop. But it is a Dell. So that means it is hugegantic and clunky and gross and very Not Cute. Even in pink it is Not Cute.
Something a little more exciting is the Sony Vaio VGN-C25G/P. In BLUSH PINK!! Yay! Now this is a serious option.
And if you are in need of a USB Hub, check this out! Hello Kitty moves and speaks in both English and Japanese. Wow! Plus, you are less likely to have people come into your office and "borrow" your USB hub. Very professional, too!

AND!! For the Robot Fan - There is Hello Kitty Robot! For only $6,299.99!! Apparently she also makes a good babysitter, or so the specs say. My friends keep telling me that childcare is expensive, sounds like they are right.
More excitingly, the specs say "It can chat with you in 3 different situations: 1 As a close friend; 2 With the family; 3 Guessing game." hahahaHa!
She even remembers your face and calls you by name.

furry angel of death.

2007-07-26T09:23:00.000-07:00

Here is an interesting article about a cute cat named Oscar who has accurately predicted deaths in a nursing home.

CISSP

2007-07-25T12:58:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been studying for the CISSP exam. It sucks. I hate it. There is nothing fun about this. at. all.
barf.

Airport Security

2007-07-13T15:23:00.000-07:00

This is great!

It's raining cookie dough.

2007-07-10T20:12:00.000-07:00

Today I went out to my car and found that it had a huge-gantic ball of cookie dough splattered on the roof and windshield, and little droplings of cookie dough poo in assorted locations. why? Are kids now cookie doughing cars instead of egging them? Or is the Cookie Monster mad at me?

long time no blog

2007-07-09T17:04:00.000-07:00

I think your ears need to hear this irritation. have fun.

Have you ever wondered why your ATM pin is 4 digits in length? Here is why.

omg ww $ux0r$!!!

2007-05-10T17:53:00.000-07:00

I feel hate. I want to break up with weight watchers. it sucks ass. I have been a member for 4 weeks and have only lost 1.5 lbs. WTF? guess how much weight i lost this week? 0. zip. nada. nilch. NOTHING!! And the funny (or actually very sad and lame) thing is that I worked out more than I ever have. EVER. I went to they gym on Fri,Mon,Tues,Wed and on Saturday I walked 3 miles. On Sunday I had a nice stroll by the Ocean. Each gym experience involved 45-50 minutes of high intensity aerobic activity followed by some weight work for arms and abs. THEN, in additon to all that, I also did Pilates on Monday and Wednesday. WTF!?
I am so irritated and disgruntled.
SUCK IT! My cat can lose weight faster than me and he sleeps 22 hours a day and never goes outside. This is so depressing.
oy.
sad meow.
pathetic meow.

omg ww r0x0r$!!

2007-04-26T10:26:00.000-07:00

OMG I am a crazy old lady and have joined Weight Watchers. I went to my first meeting last Thursday and i LOVE IT. and by love i mean love in all caps, shout it out loud LOVE!
I am doing the Flex point plan - whereby a secret calculation, only known by the highly skilled weight watcher mathemeticians, computes a personalized point profile depending on your age, activity level, and other very scientific stuff .
It ROCKS. You are given a book that tells you how many points almost every food item in the universe is and a little abacus type point-calculator device (PointsFinder) to use for items not in the "the book". For example, a fistful of cat cookies (1 serving = 15 cookies) is 2 points. 10 baby carrots = 0 points. You have to weigh in every week and if you want you can stay for the totally cheesed-out meeting. It is GREAT. OMG I LOVE the accountability of being weighed in. I LOVE how neurotic and anal I am about points and finding the best foods with the lowest point values. This rocks so fucking hard core! It's totally worth it. There is nothing about it I do not like.
There is even an inspiring exercise-point-calculator-device-thingie (PointsBooster) that computes how many points you have earned back by exercising. Of course this is also backed by some majorly complex mathematical algorithm that combines your intensity level, minutes of activity, and body weight to compute the final points value.

Hey, and if you have some extra time to see some cute Peeps in little Diarama scenes. Lookee here!!
Does anyone actually eat these things?

ice cream cake!!

2007-04-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

Yummy! I love ice cream cake. Isn't there something comforting about it? Memories of birthday parties. Rollerskates. Stuffed Animals. Streamers. Balloons. Hungry Hungry Hippos. Party Hats. Red Light Green Light. Ice Cream Cake!
Last night I was talking to Lamb about how yumm-a-lumm ice cream cake is and that is when he told me he has NEVER had ice cream cake before. EVER. NADA. strange little lamb!! Poor lamb! We must fix this situation. Pronto!

oh no. Here we go.

2007-04-19T10:54:00.000-07:00

And it begins..the slippery slope to reversing Roe v. Wade and all that women like Gloria Steinem (and many others) have done to fight for our rights as women. The implications of this are huge. And scary. This affects what rights you have now as a woman, and what the courts may do in the future to take them away.

The Namesake

2007-04-15T09:12:00.000-07:00

OMG you have to go see the movie The Namesake. It is soo good. I laughed and laughed and more importantly I cried and cried almost the entire time (yes, even when I was laughing). It was so emotional that I even wanted to cry an hour after it was over. yay! Meow! Kal Penn (from Harold & Kumar go to White Castle) plays his part so well. yay! crying! laughing! more crying! Go see it right now.
Here is a short description of the movie:
"The story of the Ganguli family whose move from Calcutta to New York evokes a lifelong balancing act to meld to a new world without forgetting the old. Though parents Ashoke and Ashima long for the family and culture that enveloped them in India, they take great pride in the opportunities their sacrifices have afforded their children."

love plus one.

2007-04-14T22:04:00.000-07:00

I found myself in the time-suck that is youtube thanks to reading my sister's blog and came upon this most wonderful video of haircut 100 singing Love Plus One! When i was 13 I was TOTALLY in love with this. YAY!

This is why i'm hot

2007-04-06T13:16:00.000-07:00

Check out this translation of the rap/hip-hop song "this is why i'm hot". Funny?

Birthday trip to bodega bay

2007-03-22T21:06:00.000-07:00

Lamb suprised me with a fun trip to bodega bay for my birthday! It was super awesome and beautiful. We stayed at the bodega bay lodge & spa where we had a suite that had a fireplace and a nice view. It was mucho fun y cosas! On sunday we walked along the ocean's edge - the view was tot rad. But it was windy and cold which made me wish I was a fleece wearing subaru driver. Check out who we met while we were on our little walk. Cute!

Papa can you hear me?

2007-03-20T13:57:00.000-07:00

This is an excerpt from an actual conversation I had yesterday at work:

Me: "Please do this very long list of things but anywhere it says "santa claus" just ignore it and go on to the next thing."

Human: "I was working on that list you sent me and there are all these "santa claus" items. I don't understand what I am suppose to be doing with them."

Me: "Ignore them. Pretend "santa claus" does not exist"

Human: "The items labeled "santa claus" seem to require additional information that I do not have. Who can I contact about this?"

the lamb that saved me from myself.

2007-03-16T10:16:00.000-07:00

I hate tax time. Actually what I really hate is anytime I have a deadline to do anything that is not work-related. Because when it comes to work things, I am very responsible and dedicated and work wonderfully with things like projects and timelines. Really. But in my real life, I rebel from such things. Deadlines? What? Timelines? My idea of a timeline is getting something done whenever I get around to it. You know, that pile of mail by the front door - yeah, that's on my to-do list.
Then taxes come. Usually I wait around until the last possible day and then get really angry that I can't find anything necessary. The w-2s or w-4s or whatever they're called are missing or mis-placed, my taxes from last year are always lost (every year this is me: "you mean you have to keep those?") and whatever else I need is even harder to find. Then I scream and yell and get really angry and confused and then procrastinate over and over and finally the whole process is finished, but only after I have called 3 or 4 or 12 people to let them know how bad it all is.
This year is different. This year I am married. YAY! Married to a very responsible Lambatron who LOVES to do this stuff. He really likes it! And that is only one of a million-kajillion reasons that makes me soo very thankful and happy to have such a wonderful lamb. How did I luck out like this? My karma was so ON the day this Lamb came into my life. YAY FOR ME! What a great marriage perk - no more taxes. Taxes are totally invisible to me now. I love it. I love my lambatron 2000! meow!

Shootin' at the walls of heartache...Bang, bang.

2007-03-09T10:18:00.000-08:00

Lamb's Uncle has season tickets to The Warriors and he couldn't go so he gave us the tickets. He is an ex-marine and hard to say no to, plus, we (correctly) thought it would be an interesting and new experience. The Warriors won. They were playing against The Denver Nuggets.
The entire production seemed not well organized and kind of low-budge. For instance while we were waiting for the the game to start and during the game intermissions and breaks, the band "Pride and Joy" would perform. But the sound was soo incredibly bad - sometimes the singers microphones would be on, sometimes off, you could barely here the musicians instruments compared to the singers (when the microphones worked), etc. Tres Low-Budge. The beer was over over-priced. Much more expensy than at a Sharks game. $7 -$8 for a Small to $8 - over $10 for a large. HELLO!! Food was over-priced but not really any more so than expected. And the ticket price. Outrageous! We were in section 120, good seats, and our suggested ticket price was $65. Whoa! And the Warriors wonder why their fan base is shrinking.
You know how when you go to a Sharks game and in the beginning they have a little show and the lights dim and that huge inflated shark goes on the ice and then dry ice "smoke" starts coming out of its mouth and then BAM! Start the loud rock music! And the players appear, skating out of the shark mouth into the smoke as they announce them one by one. Now THAT is dramatic and totally worth the entire game. Plus you get to see fights and stuff.

Ok, back to The Warriors game. The field or court or whatever you call it seemed way smaller than I thought it would be. Pre-Game the players were out practicing and stretching. Some players were on the floor stretching in the exact same position an infant takes when you change it's diaper. Strike a pose - Vogue.
The cheerleaders tried to get us pumped up but I am very sorry to say that they sucked. I mean, yes, they are hot and I know that is part of their job, but the other part - the "entertain" part was Terrible. Hugely Not Good. For the most part they just jumped up and down with their pom-poms like the junior varisty cheerleaders in high school. They had 2 outfit changes and 2 very short (I use the following term very loosely) "dance perfomances". OK - so I don't mean to be too hard on them - but if my J.O.B. is to look hot AND be a part of a dance group, I would work just as hard on the being hot part as the dancing part. They really lack the dancing part. They weren't really moving at the same time when they should have and lots of them were off-time (but not sharing the same off-time). It was like they had just learned the routine 5 minutes ago. Let's just say they shouldn't rush to the auditions for So You Think You Can Dance anytime soon.
The game finally began after a very uneventful dimmed-lights, loud music, attempt to get us excited. (They should take some hints from The Sharks pre-game producer) It was odd - one minute the lights were dark and they were announcing the players and then 2 seconds later they were playing the game. This confused me. The game itself was OK. Before the game started they interrupted Pride and Joy to tell us that if The Warrors scored 100+ Points in this game everyone would get a Free hamburger from McDonalds. Scott was uber excited about the potential for free food.

There was a kid about 4 years old located 2 rows in front of us who kept yelling "Defense, Defense" as his mother stuffed cheese pizza and then later, Dreyers Ice Cream Dibs, into his mouth to shut him up. But he had a good point. The Warriors have the suckiest Defense I have ever seen. And we all know, when you want a kid to shut up and calm down, the best medicine is MORE SUGAR.
Some would say The Warriors actually won the game because they had the highest score. But it could be argued that McDonalds won that night because right when The Warriors scored 100 points, over half of the audience got up and left. What's the perfect ending to a Low-Budget Basketball game?? A late-nite free hamburger from McDonalds! yummmi.

Shakes Alive! Protect yourshelf and your data!

2007-02-28T17:38:00.000-08:00

I was just working on a presentation and created this pretty timeline that shows ALL the security breaches by the VA in the last 9 months. WOW! I am wondering why they keep doing this over and over again! (To see it bigger, you may click on it). And all of these incidents have to do with someone stealing the laptop/PC/hard drive/thumbdrive/folders/etc. I think it (FINALLY!) might be time for those old white guys to realize that perhaps it should be a requirement that all sensitive data is encrypted (at rest and in transit)! And let the fall out begin...?

Here's a cute table of the Top 5 Breaches of 2006 (according to CSO Magazine).

Records Potentially Breached	Where and When Made Public	What Happened
28.6 Million	Veterans Affairs Department, May 22	Laptop stolen from employee’s home holds veterans’ personal data. Computer recovered and FBI forensics says no data accessed; veterans agency contracts monitor to see if data misused.
2.6 Million	Circuit City, Chase Card Services, Sept. 7	Computer data tapes containing Circuit City cardholders’ data mistakenly discarded.
1.7 Million	Circuit City, Chase Card Services, Sept. 7	Worker at subcontractor loses equipment containing borrowers’ names and Social Security numbers.
1.35 Million	Chicago Election Board, Oct. 23	Illinois activists report they hacked into voter database where names, Social Security numbers, dates of birth are viewed.
1 Million	American Red Cross, St. Louis chapter, May 24	Employee with access to donors’ Social Security numbers allegedly uses three records for ID theft scheme.

mmm...Super Stack...

2007-02-28T14:24:00.000-08:00

I love when you never change your passwords. In fact, I bet your router right now still has the same out of the box default password it had when you bought it. Sweet!
It's really cute how 3COM's Super Stack's default login/password is security/security. Ahhh...yes...security! Great choice! And Netgear really likes the admin/1234 combo. I have to give Linksys props too, I mean, why bother with a crappy default login/password- it's just way to much trouble. Let's just not have any - blank/blank! Who would have ever guessed that? Well, no one actually has to guess at all since the default username and passwords are published anyways. And while I'm at it, please also make sure you don't spend an extra two seconds changing the default ssid, either. Thanks!

Don't you love stealing wi-fi from your neighbors? Or driving around looking for a signal when on vacation in Kauai? Well - you might want to reconsider if you ever visit Singapore.

valentine, sweet valentine.

2007-02-14T09:09:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day!

If you have been wondering what the most perfect gift for me would be, I oh so wanty this! Is it not beautiful and useful and wonderful all at the same time? I think I must have this very expensive leather good.

If you are one of those humans who hates v-day, I think you need something to cheer you up. Check out my friend Bryan's blog - he wrote the funniest entry on how his ATM machine is now envelope-less.

Favorites!

2007-02-13T17:01:00.000-08:00

Some favorites!

Check out the interview with my most favoritest Security Guru, Bruce Schneier. If you likee, he has a blog-a-log you can read too! If you find yourself at his blog, check out his comments about DRM in Windows Vista.
My most beloved Lamb was kind enough to give me my newest most cherished blanket. AND!!! She is famous! She stars as the blanket of The Cheerleader in Heroes! What are the odds of that!! Stay tuned for pictures of her coming soon!
My favorite word = Omaha. What's yours? My most favorite sister in the universe has selected the word lumber as her favorite.

out of order

2007-02-07T12:52:00.001-08:00

love it.

Number 2.

2007-02-04T11:32:00.000-08:00

I am lucky enough to be married to the most wonderful lamb in the universe! He is the perfect combination of sweet and savory! If he was a number, he would be an integer that is the sum of its proper positive divisors, that is, the sum of the positive divisors not including the number (aka a number that is half the sum of all of its positive divisors, or σ(n) = 2 n). You could say he is my 6, or my 8128. My Perfect Number! yay!

There is one thing, however, that can turn his sweetness into an amalgamation of sour. This thing has to do with his stringent feeding schedule. He must be fed every two hours (give or take 15 minutes). As long as he is well fed, he is the kind lamb I speak of above. If not fed, he is a Grumpasaurus. Grumpapotamus. Grump to the E. My most favorite sister in the universe suffered from this problem, but now that she is older it has subsided (or so she claims...). Low blood sugar = grump.
Weekends are always the hardest for him to stay on schedule. I'm sure one reason is because during the week he has access to a variety of free foods from his geek dot com work breakroom snackdom. At any rate, yesterday we were running some errands and it was after noon and lamb was HunGrrry. I suggested we stop at the closest McDonalds so he could stick something meat-like into his mouth. He agreed and next thing I knew we were at McDonalds in Lafayette, CA. For those of you who have not had the pleasure, this is the nicest McDonalds I have ever entered. I felt like I was in a fast food palace. (It's even a wi-fi hotspot!) wow! And a habitrail for kids! Anyways, I ordered the $1 side salad and when it came time for Lamb to order he said "I'll have Number 2" to which I started laughing hysterically in that I Am A Twelve Year Old Boy kind of way. I just kept thinking of how appropriate that was - he is ordering Number 2 at McDonalds! Or, as Whitney Houston would say "Are you going to drop that on the 1?".

In other news, while we were shopping yesterday we ran into this. Be careful. Easter is coming.

Plus, we FINALLY found a dresser that we both agree on, AND it was 40% off, AND we actually bought it, AND we also bought 2 matching nightstands. How exciting is that!! We now will have a real grown up bedroom! yay!

soap trauma

2007-01-30T16:43:00.000-08:00

**If you have not watched today's AMC, you may not want to read this**
I love the soap opera All My Children. I have been watching it on and off for many years, and I truly enjoy the time I get to spend each day with it. It's a good lunch break, a good brain-off break. And with Tivo, it only lasts 40 minutes. Currently, Pine Valley is in a crunch to find the serial killer that is killing off all the girls from Fusion magazine (the girls also own a bar called ConFusion...) . Today the murderer has mistakenly killed Dixie instead of the intended victim, Babe (yes...that is her real name). Dammit Dixie, why did you have to eat those poisoned peanut butter and banana pancakes!

Pan's Laby, Petsmart

2007-01-30T16:03:00.000-08:00

2 scary discoveries that were made in the last 2 days:
Pan's Labyrinth and PetSmart.
Scary + Violent = Pan's Labyrinth.
Abusive + Evil = PetSmart
Me = Sad
Anyone who knows me knows that I do not enjoy going to the movies. There is really nothing in it that excites me. Sitting silent and still in the dark for 2+ hours is not my kind of fun. But I had read and heard numerous positive reviews from friends that Pan's Laby was going to be TOT good. I disagree. Ewww. Scary!
Another movie that may get me out of the house is Bridge to Terabithia.
And PetSmart...ahh...what are you doing? Stop it!
Please do not buy anything from PetSmart until they stop selling animals, and go here to take action.

Alienated by my computer.

2007-01-24T22:16:00.000-08:00

A new study is out - 65% of Americans spend more time with their computers than with their Spouse. Is this really a suprise for most of us who work with computers?
I think the most suprising (and hilarious) thing in this study is this:
-- A majority of Americans (52%) describe their most recent experience with a computer problem as one of anger, sadness or alienation.
Ha!
In other news...Do you need to get a passport? Read this first. And then check this out.

Cingular is now AT&T. again. or something.

2007-01-21T18:19:00.000-08:00

Check out Stephen Colbert explaining the whole AT&T Cingular fiasco. Thanks to my alt dot geeky dot net friend Bryan for finding it on the information super highway.

Pinkemily Cake

2007-01-20T16:30:00.000-08:00

I was just going through some old picture sets on Flickr and came upon a photo set taken while I was house-sitting for my sister when she used to live much closer to me...
This is a photo set of how to make a pinkemily (one word) duckinson cake.

Juliana Hatfield

2007-01-20T15:42:00.000-08:00

I just purchased the new Juliana Hatfield record. She rocks . The new album consists of 12 live recordings of previously released songs (some songs are from Some Girls cd's also). Love it!
Have you heard her in Some Girls? Or The Blake Babies? If not, I recommend doing it immediately.